Shinjuku, Tokyo, Japan
My boss was squatting at the side of the hideously gutted corpse, bending over to search for fine details, nuances that might not have been picked up by the crime-scene technicians. I should have been following her head movements while the Chief Inspector methodically analyzed the victim but, instead, was trying to get a better view of the whale-tail exposed as her white silk shirt was pulled up and her low-cut denim jeans were dragged lower over her sizeable buttocks.
The CI was an impressive woman in many ways. Not only a legend throughout the Pacific Rim for her detective skills, but a veritable Amazon who appeared even more larger-than-life due to the contrast provided by the petite Japanese girls on our staff - or even myself, her lowly gofer. Stella Koide was a blonde, blue-eyed, epitome of the Teutonic dream, or maybe more a caricature thereof; with well in excess of a hundred kilos generously distributed over her two meter plus frame. A lot of those kilos were muscle and bone, but most of the rest seemed to be tits and bum. This provided yet another contrast to her androgynous female colleagues and endless distraction for males, or at least all of those who were not 100% straight gay.
I shook my head and tried to bring my attention back to the job, moving to the side for a better view of the brutalized body and, hopefully, fewer potential distractions. As I had already been provided with basic background, the contrast between the large breasts and beautifully made up face of the ladyboy and his, or was it her, well-dimensioned penis did not come as too much of a shock. What did cause me to gasp was the way in which the torso had been hacked open and, as far as I could see, all internal organs removed.
"Not as nice a sight as the crack of my arse," my boss commented, without pausing her inspection of the gaping wound. The woman had a reputation for having eyes in the back of her head and this seemed to confirm it yet again. "So, Watson, what do you make of it?"
My name is Holmes, Jim Holmes, but there was no way that the CI could give the impression that she was confusing me with the redoubtable Sherlock; so I had become Watson to her and hence to the rest of the department as well. I scratched my head to gain thinking time while I tried to come up with something that would avoid, or at least minimize, my usual humiliation. I decided to stick to safe ground. "Well, the deceased is a transvestite... "
"And just what makes you think that?"
Fuck! How could I possibly be wrong here? "Well, maybe a pre-op trans-sexual or a shemale, if you want to be pedantic. I'm not up on the distinctions involved. Is a shemale the same as a ladyboy?"
"You don't answer a question with a question! How many times have I told you that? Anyway, have a closer look and see if you can do any better."
"Well, the body has obviously been cleaned up and set out on display, no blood or... "
"Or shit, that's bloody clear. But you're drifting again! For Christ's sake, develop your thoughts in a logical, structured manner! You started off with the victim, so go with that thread first."
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! This woman was a nightmare. "OK, the victim looks at first glance like a transvestite or some other form of person that possesses both fine tits and a rather large dick. How about that?"
"I could live with that as the basis of a first glance. So, now you've had a chance for a second glance, can you narrow down a bit on the range of owners of tits and dicks?"
"Well it's not a part of the community that I spend much of my time with," I retorted. I was aware that I was skating on thin ice here as the sexual proclivities of Koide-san were a continuous source of scurrilous rumor in the precinct.
"So, does the office scuttlebutt now also include me as the meat in a sandwich featuring a couple of chicks-with-dicks? Does that thought get you hard?" It didn't, but it certainly did, I thought to myself as the torment continued. "Is that why you're staring down my cleavage, instead of examining our victim's genitalia?"
Although I don't consider myself prudish and have seen a number of dead bodies in my time, the idea of examining a corpse's private parts made me distinctly uncomfortable. I prefer to leave all that stuff to the forensic pathologists. Not that this explained why the focus of my eyes had drifted towards the Grand Canyon, as it was universally referred to beyond our CI's range of hearing. The woman was evidently well aware of how distracting her massive bosom was and seemed to take efforts to show it off to best advantage.
I ignored the taunt and tried to determine what was being hinted at. Ignoring the butchery above the waist, I examined the victim's tackle as instructed. "I don't know what death does to prick size, but this seems to be equipment of above average size for an Asian." I glanced up at the undamaged face. "Maybe Thai or from somewhere thereabouts."
"Damning with faint praise!" my tormentor muttered. "So what else have your eagle eyes picked up? For fuck's sake: a willy, yes, but... ?"
"No balls!" I realized as I followed this lead. "So, he's castrated: a eunuch or a mid-op trans-sex!"
"Jesus suffering Christ, Watson! Your evenings of wanking over the thought of my admittedly delectable bod have actually made you go blind! I thought that was an urban myth, but you are the living proof thereof. I am going to fucking video your feeble performance here and put it on YouTube as a warning to the younger generation of the dangers of self-abuse!"
I let this tirade roll over me as I knelt to get closer to the focus of my boss's wrath. "Fuck me!" I gasped as the situation between the slightly spread thighs was revealed. "It's a hermaphrodite! Christ, there can't be more than a couple of them in Tokyo. At least we should be able to ID the victim PDQ."
"Finally! Yes, indeed, a hermaphrodite; although nothing like as uncommon as you're suggesting. There're actually quite a few of them in Kabuki-cho."
"You have got to be taking the piss here," I rashly interjected. "This must be some kind of really rare genetic abnormality, one in a million stuff."
"Natural intersex cases are much more common than that although, admittedly, most are handled soon after birth with corrective surgery. But we need to check if this is natural or engineered... "
"Engineered? Who'd engineer their parts... ?"
"Fucking hell, Watson, shut it for a bit! And don't fucking open your trap until you are certain, one hundred percent certain, that you know what you're fucking talking about!" A finger jabbing in my direction made it clear that this was a command beyond any further discussion.
I could feel myself blush as I was humiliated yet again. Every bloody time I disagreed with this woman, I ended up with a lecture that served the twin purposes of demonstrating how encyclopedic my boss's knowledge is and how fundamentally crap I am in every possible area.
"So, we certainly have a hermaphrodite. A rare condition, but one which will not only be reflected in many cases when you consider the fifty million population of the Tokyo megalopolis, but even more within Japan and worldwide." Another wave of her finger warned me not to interrupt.
"Most of the cases would be corrected in some way before adulthood, but many of those who didn't have this option would end up in places like Kabuki-cho, where their attributes assure them a prime position in the commercial sex trade."
My mouth opened, but closed again quickly as a glare in my direction warned me of the consequences of interrupting the great detective in mid flow.
"But that would probably be the minority. Selective assignment of intersex gender has been an option since the thirties and is popular with some parents who see this as setting their children up as big earners for alt-sex prostitution. Our victim here looks to have a real mongrel ethnic background; a really beautiful face with a lot of Thai and maybe some Philippines there. Just the kind of places where hookers are cultured over generations, until they reach a level where they can make the pilgrimage to Shinjuku, to finally make the big time."
I sensed that I was now allowed to speak. "Well, maybe you know a lot more about this than I do... " rolled eyes made it clear that I was stating only the obvious, "... but surely this will still be a very select subset of the knocking shops in this area?"
"Thank the great hairy fanny of the Goddess - finally!" C.I. Koide raised her eyes to the ceiling in an overly dramatic gesture that brought the edge of a large brown areola into view. Distracted by the hope that this might presage the appearance of one of her legendry nipples, I almost missed the next bit. "This is where we're starting from, a top-end intersex courtesan is gutted and presented to us, carefully arranged, on the floor of a crappy soba joint; just where it would cause maximum impact when they opened up at about eleven this morning."
"And? What does this all mean? Who did it? And why put the body here?" The little restaurant was, indeed, rather shabby and the entrance zone was about the only place where the body could be laid out, even then requiring a cabinet presenting plastic models of the noodle set dishes available to be pushed back to block access to the back seating areas and the kitchen.
"Not the fucking foggiest! But, thanks to your brilliant and stunning good-looking superior, we at least know where to start. You can show your appreciation by buying me lunch in the pub I noticed round the corner; it looks like some pseudo-Brit thing, but it'll do for now."
The statuesque detective stood and stretched, causing her breasts to drop back into relatively secure concealment of a straining black silk bra. "No luck, Watson, maybe they'll fall into your lap next time." She grinned smugly and led our way back into the heat and humidity of Sakura-dori.