CHAPTER ONE

Frost reached for the framed lasergraph sitting on his dresser. Before placing it in his kit, he glanced at the little image, studying it silently. It was a graphic of Saydee and Kas, and was the only image the boy had of his mother.

It had been taken shortly before she and Kas left Terra. They were sitting in the Asteroid Cantina when an itinerant laser-artist wandered in. Since they generally trailed after the tourists who’d begun to infiltrate Old Town, burning pictures to sell them, this one seemed out of place. On a whim Kas asked him to take their picture. He’d had no idea it would be the only one of him and the woman who was to become his concubine, and an object his son would forever treasure.

Two days after a surprisingly easy delivery, and in spite of everything Kas and the Medic-Priests from the abbey hospital could do, Saydee suddenly weakened and died. And left him to raise me alone. Frost thought about the time Kas found him perched on the window seat looking up at the Pride House, the lasergraph in his hand.

"What’s the matter, son? You look unhappy."

"I was thinking about Mother. Is it true she was a whore?"

"Who told you that?" Kas was immediately defensive. "How dare they?"

No one had actually told him. He’d been in the garden of the Pride House and Aunt Andi, not knowing he was nearby, was speaking to Uncle Andrew, the man the Federation knew as Sinbad sh’en Singh.

"The day I walked into the Blue Owl and saw that prostie sitting on abarstool I never thought she’d become a member of my family," Aunt Andi had said.

He knew Andi wasn’t being cruel because she’d often commented on how much she liked Saydee. Besides, didn’t she take care of me after my mother died?

"Yes, it’s true." Frost was startled to hear no shame in his father’s voice as he admitted what the boy already knew. There was merely sadness. "I met her when I went to Terra on business for Andrew. I-I bought her for the night, but the next day I asked her to come to Felida with me. I loved her, Frost."

It was supposed to reassure the boy, but it did the opposite. If that’s so, why are you marrying N’Sagar? Frost wanted to shout the question. It wasn’t fair. His father was an adult. Old. Why didn’t he take a mate his own age? Why does he have to take the only other person I love?

He’d always loved N’Sagar. From the moment they became aware of each other as children, when Andi took Frost to the Pride House to tend him while his father was at his clinic. He and N’Sagar played together, napped side by side on Uncle Andrew’s big bed, fought over toys, suffered through the same childhood illnesses-and Frost adored her.

N’Sagar was spoiled, of course, but being the only female cub in the clan, it was expected. She was indulged by Uncle Andrew who doted on her and thought she could do no wrong, and pampered by Aunt Andi. What N’Sagar wanted, N’Sagar got, no matter who had to relinquish something in the process. But Frost hadn’t minded. He was quite willing to give up anything to his cousin.

He was probably nine when he decided he’d ask Uncle Andrew to let him marry N’Sagar, but before he could make a fool of himself by saying so, he learned she was bonded to his father. When she was old enough, she was going to marry Kas. After that, he watched the way his father was when near her. Kas’ very behavior silently admitted what his son feared. He might play a game of mallowick with the other children, they might crawl all over him while he tossed them into the air or roughhoused with them, but he didn’t act like that with N’Sagar. When Kas was with N’Sagar, he was quiet, almost shy, as if he wasn’t certain what to do. Frost thought that terribly odd since his father was one of the most self-possessed people he knew.

Shortly after that, he learned the feelings he had for N’Sagar were mutual ones. She loved him also. She was marrying his father out of duty only, because her father had arranged it when she was still an infant. That should have made Frost feel better. Instead he was flooded with total despair. Awkwardly, Frost had tried to tell his father how he felt.

"I wish you weren’t marrying her!"

"Why not?"

How could he say it? Because I love her. Because you’re too old. Because she loves me. Each statement would hurt his father, and that was something Frost never wanted to do. Kas’d had enough tragedy in his life when he lost Frost’s mother. The boy knew how much his father loved him, since he was all he had left of his beloved concubine, and he also knew he’d never be able to say those words to him. Instead, he looked up at his father and shrugged.

"It’s change, Father. You know how I am about change."

"I said that same thing to Andrew once, and shortly afterward, I met your mother."

So, Frost kept quiet, and three days after N’Sagar’s fifteenth birthday, she and Kas were wed.

***

Frost stayed overnight at the Pride House so the newlyweds could have their first night together without the embarrassment of an adolescent in a nearby bedroom. Kas had given the servants a week off, and when Frost returned home, the house was oddly quiet and deserted-feeling. He’d tiptoed though the parlor sensing he shouldn’t make any noise. In his attempts to be quiet, he bumped against a table and the resulting sound was like a scream in the silence.

In a few moments, the bedroom door opened and his father and N’Sagar appeared, both hastily belting robes. His father was out of breath and looked embarrassed. Frost could feel his face flush as he realized what he’d interrupted. Looking at N’Sagar, he also understood something else: she was now a mated female, possessor of knowledge he didn’t have. A creature smelling of sex and constant couplings, a female able to drive his father into desire with a simple touch to his hand.

How will I ever be able to live in the same house with her knowing what goes on in their bedroom at night?How long will it be before I begin to hate my father?

Mealtimes were the worst. While they ate, Kas would touch N’Sagar’s hand gently stroking her fingers, brushing his own against her arm. He fed her from his plate and they laughed and looked into each other’s eyes. Frost was certain she was enjoying this game, and also the fact that she had the power to drive her husband into a frenzy, while making his son feel an intruder in his own home.

He managed to hide his feelings for a year, in which N’Sagar began to make overt gestures toward him. Brushing against him if they passed each other and making certain the lower parts of their bodies touched while she glanced down with a smug smirk. Letting her fingers touch his when she handed him a dish during a meal. Her lips lingering a little too long on his cheek as she kissed him goodnight.

Once, he protested.

All she said was, "But you’re my stepson, Frost. Can’t I show my dear stepson I care for him?"

He didn’t dare answer that, not in front of his father. This went on for several months; N’Sagar teasing and tempting, and Frost torn between telling his father of his mate’s wanton behavior-though he doubted Kas would believe him, he was so besotted with his bride-and wanting to do violence of some as yet undecided sort to her. It was N’Sagar herself who brought matters to a head.

They were alone in the house. He’d been on his way downstairs. As he passed the bathing room, he noticed the door was open. Thinking the room empty he reached in to close it.

"Are you peeping at me?" N’Sagar’s voice came from the other side of the room.

She was in the tub, up to her neck in bubbles. Frost looked away.

"Sorry, I didn’t... "

"It’s all right, Frost. I won’t tell Kas." There was a splash of water as she stepped from the tub. He could envision her reaching for a towel, rubbing it against her breasts, her belly. It was most improper for him to be talking to her while she bathed, even if his head was turned. "Actually," she went on, the towel making a soft brushing sound as it touched her skin, "I’m flattered."

"N’Sagar." Frost started to turn around, then stopped, saying earnestly, "I swear I haven’t spied on you. I’ve never even seen a naked female."

"Frost!" It was such a strident shriek he whirled in alarm. Laughing, she dropped the towel to the floor. "Now you have!"

"Why’d you do that?" Frost yelled, staring at her. He couldn’t look away, didn’t want to, though he knew he should. "What’s wrong with you?"

"You’re what’s wrong with me," she retorted. Arms above her head, she stretched, breasts rising temptingly. "I know how you feel. I feel it, too."

"You’re my father’s wife."

For just a moment she stared at him.

"But I love you, Frost. I’ve always loved you."

"Y-you do?" He hadn’t expected this. "Then what about Father?"

"I’m fond of Kas, but I don’t love him. Nobody asked me whether I wanted to marry him. Nobody asked me who I loved. They just told me." She began to wind one of his snow-white curls around her finger. "I love you, Frost. I can’t help it."

That should have made a difference somehow, but it didn’t. She reached out and caught his wrist.

"Don’t!" Frost jerked out of her grasp. He had to get away before he did something he’d regret. To the sound of her calling his name he fled down the stairs, and out the door, not stopping until he was halfway to the Pride House. For a long time he stood on the path trying to think, trying to figure out what to do. Only one answer came to mind: he had to leave.

It wouldn’t be as difficult as it sounded. Frost wanted to be one of Uncle Andrew’s pilots when he got older. The tutor he shared with the children at the Pride House was giving him extra lessons in fields of study to help him achieve that goal, and March had supplied the boy with the latest training manuals. In spite of his inner turmoil, Frost had to smile as he thought again of how the Federation had turned the tables on Uncle Andrew.

Its hands tied to thwart his plans to make Felida a smuggling planet, the Fed simply declared his criminal operation a legitimate business. Now, the clan sh’en Singh was a legal importing firm, protected by the very government whose laws it attempted to break. This had brought with it an unexpected benefit: once Sin’s business was under the law, Tsan-Hsi’s attacks-in retaliation for having Sin’s former territories returned to him-became assaults against a Federation-protected organization and were declared piracy. Now the smuggler was being sought, not only by the sh’en Singhs, but also by the Federation.

Frost looked up the hill. No, he couldn’t stay in his father’s house any longer, for he feared what would happen if he did. The sight of N’Sagar’s naked body had made emotions rise in him, demanding to be sated. and he couldn’t let that happen. Taking a deep breath Frost ran the rest of the way to the Pride House.

That night at supper he told Kas what he’d done. "Uncle Andrew’s agreed to let me sign on the Penumbra as cabin-boy. Isn’t that great?"

N’Sagar dropped her spoon. As they both turned to look at her, she retrieved it and stared at him.

"I suppose so. But isn’t this a little sudden?" Kas appeared slightly dismayed.

"You know I’ve been planning to do this for some time." He avoided N’Sagar’s eyes. "So, I decided no time like the present."

"When will you be shipping out?" As usual, his father was going to try to make the best of it. After all, he and Frost had talked about this. Although the speed with which it had happened shocked him a little, Kas accepted his son’s decision with no argument. That made Frost feel even more guilty.

"Tomorrow morning."

There was a strangled gasp from N’Sagar. She stood up as they turned to look at her.

"E-excuse me. I-I’m not feeling well," she mumbled, and bolted from the room.