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The Most Important Conversation
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ISBN-10: 0-96896-303-X
ISBN-13: 
Genre: Self Help
eBook Length: 199 Pages
Published: September 2001



From inside the flap

Finally, there is a book that tells you how to handle the toughest problem in our organizations, homes and sports today - how to talk to someone when you are irritated, angry or hurt. Did you know when you are upset you disconnect from that part of the brain where you effectively solve problems? You can't think straight. According to The Most Important Conversation Is the One You're Not Having the tool Report Report Report allows you to quickly gain control and get your power back.


Reviews and Awards

?Your presentation and process was fantastic. Your knowledge, walking the talk and obvious inner peace shows through and makes your presentation more meaningful. You are doing good works and helping people immensely.?

D. Palmer, CEO, District of Columbia

?Whatever my husband was released from was something that I knew nothing about and all I can say is thank you. He is less angry having more fun and calmer now when he comes home from work. He certainly has experienced something profound.?

A. Hodge, Wife of a client, Ontario, Canada

?As I reflect on the past year the best value my CEO group received was from you. There is a great need for your insightful thoughts. You ?compellingly communicate imaginative ideas very well. You ARE making a difference.?

C. Ferneyhough III, TEC Chair, Virginia

?I felt like I really connected with you. You are very skilled and knowledgeable about your topic and the result is you are effective. I am sure that many people share my feelings about you and the benefits that have resulted in their lives.?

A. Whiting, CEO, New Hampshire



The Most Important Conversation (Excerpt)


The Most Important Conversation is the One You're Not Having


Introduction


?The most important conversation in any organization is the one you are not having. You all know what it is. What would happen if you had it??
Rick Eigenbrod

? The driving social issue in any community is the issue no one is willing to talk about.?
Ivan Browning

Why this book? What can Susan Greene tell you that you haven?t heard before?

PBS Houston Public Television calls Susan Greene the Communication Expert. Her clients know her as a CEO, consultant, professional speaker, master facilitator, coach, author, television personality, friend, ’shrink? and an angel. Susan calls herself a catalyst, mother, sister, friend, mentor and a Rotarian.

In 1999, The Executive Committee Worldwide (TEC) asked Susan to teach the CEO members in roundtables of 8-17 participants how to confront each other on their very tough issues. This is the process she developed for TEC.

Since then, she has coached over 500 CEOs as well as her clients on the Power of Candor throughout the United States and Canada. Here is the process. Here are the stories these CEOs and other clients want to share with you on how they learned the power of candor. Their stories are true. The names and organizations have been changed or omitted to respect their privacy.

Why is Susan Greene qualified to write this book? Over and over again her client’s have asked, ?Where is your book??

Greene’s clients continue to tell Susan that her approach is different. They learn how to have difficult conversations effectively that honors both parties. They now understand what drives anger and frustration, more importantly, how to handle it quickly.

Many of those responses motivated Susan to clear her schedule, sit down and capture it on paper.

?Your presentation and process was fantastic. Your knowledge, walking the talk and obvious inner peace shows through and makes your presentation more meaningful. You are doing good works and helping people immensely.?

D. Palmer, CEO, District of Columbia

?Whatever my husband was released from was something that I knew nothing about and all I can say is thank you. He is less angry having more fun and calmer now when he comes home from work. He certainly has experienced something profound.?

A. Hodge, Wife of a client, Ontario, Canada

?As I reflect on the past year the best value my CEO group received was from you. There is a great need for your insightful thoughts. You ?compellingly communicate imaginative ideas very well. You ARE making a difference.?

C. Ferneyhough III, TEC Chair, Virginia

?I felt like I really connected with you. You are very skilled and knowledgeable about your topic and the result is you are effective. I am sure that many people share my feelings about you and the benefits that have resulted in their lives.?

A. Whiting, CEO, New Hampshire

?I?ve been in anger management for two years. I got in touch with my feelings and all that stuff. Today, the light bulb went off. I now know how to fix it. I can do this now. Thank you for showing me HOW!? J. Post, California

?Your lovely spirit and wonderful teachings have come to my rescue more than once. I am lucky to know you.? T. Avery, Union President, Texas

?After the executive and board retreats in Round Top, we are building a foundation on rock, instead of sand. We know our vision. For our next retreat, continue to do what you do well, take the management team ?out of the box?. We are ready to go to our next level.?

B. Osterhout, CEO/Chairman, Texas

?Thank you! I still carry the touchstone, and it works for me. Much better, and deeper conversations. You?ve something there. How are you going to ?fill up the whole world with it??? D. Morris, CEO, New Jersey

You may not have the opportunity to work directly with Susan. If not you can learn about these ideas, tools and how to use them in this book, The Most Important Conversation Is the One You?re Not Having.

If you have already worked with Susan, besides this book being a quick refresher for you, she’s included many stories and a few more insights. Here’s another opportunity to expand your capacity to be candid in all situations.

Just before going to print Susan received this email. We decided to share it with you.

Your visit (obviously not coincidental!) was timely as I knew that my colleague/friend of over 20 years who I had just hired, had gotten off on the wrong foot. He misunderstood his role in the company. We discovered this the evening before your session, Power of Candor. I was deeply troubled that his departure from the company was most certainly necessary. Not only because of the loss of friendship it would entail, but because I knew he could do the job we had hired him for and it would be a loss to the company as well.

Two days after your session we had a conversation about the entire issue. Focusing on the principals of the ?Power of Candor,? we had a great and open conversation. I emphasized how I was feeling about the entire incident. I explained how I saw his role in the organization now and in the future. Then he opened up about his feelings, fears and observations.

When our conversation ended we both clearly understood (in a non-threatening way), that he needed to embrace the position he was hired for or leave the company. He said, ?I am staying and am enthusiastic about my role here.?

Now, several weeks later, he has proven that he can do the position intended. He can generate enthusiasm and has regained the respect from the staff. It's amazing what we can do as company leaders when we become human and show by example how others can safely do the same.

The result is that I saved a friendship. My firm has a skilled and dedicated employee. He is happy and committed to our strategic plan and clearly sees a future for himself. Without the "Power of Candor," everyone would have lost--me, my friend, my colleague and my company. With it we all have won. ?The Power of Candor? is truly powerful, thank you.


Personal Note from the Author


My seminar, ?The Power of Candor? and this book, The Most Important Conversation Is the One You?re Not Having are about having difficult conversations with you, family, co-workers, friends and others. The tools discussed within this book create the safety to conduct these tough conversations in the ?heat of the moment? when you don?t have time to prepare.

Do you really have the time to wait? Meanwhile you have given away your power until you deal with the situation. Here among these pages you?ll discover proven tools that enable you to manage your anger and have the conversation now. Don?t put it off.

In Chapter One, we?ll cover the triggers that undermine our relationships: passive aggressive, aggressive and passive behaviors. You will learn how these inappropriate behaviors keep you from creating healthy, responsible relationships.

Irritations and frustrations create stress in the body. You will become more aware of their effect on your health. In chapter two you will learn what choices make a significant impact on your body and relationships.

What are the undesirable actions and behaviors in your organization and in your home? Discover in chapter three what are the causes. How can you change them?

In Chapter Four, we will explore brain science and how it affects our behavior. Have you ever said, ?I?m so upset, I can?t think straight!? Learn why this is true based on how the brain functions.

After a full day of meetings you come home tired from work, whereas 60 minutes of physical exercise energizes you. In chapter five, we?ll demonstrate how and why this phenomenon happens time and again.

?USA Today? July 18, 2000 read, ?Our lives are all crumpled up with stress, multi-tasking, high expectations, lack of manners. Now we are amid a new epidemic of anger ? sometimes deadly anger.? Anger, rage and hostility are secondary emotions. What drives us to the point of anger? How do we fix it? The answers are in Chapter Six.

Dr. Kathryn Kotrla is board certified by the American Board of Psychiatry & Neurology. Kotrla is head of Psychiatry at Baylor College of Medicine. She has endorsed these techniques on the PBS production, ?Brain at Work,? as effective ways to handle emotions. The tool, ?Report Report Report? can be used during any situation or conversation when it gets sticky. In chapter seven you will learn this valuable reporting tool that has helped thousands of people.

When you find yourself in struggle, you are caught in a short circuit that continues to repeat over and over again. Together in Chapter Eight we will explore how giving up incessant addictive thinking patterns takes you out of struggle and into peace.

Chapter Nine is about making choices that are important to you that profoundly impact your life.

Life is a continuing journey and so is my work. I continue to recreate my material and teaching methods. If you need more clarification or help regarding any of these concepts, please contact me through the website: www.communicatingworks.com

Many of these concepts will challenge your belief systems. I invite you to disengage from your present beliefs allowing you to temporarily let go of your thoughts about reality. When you go to the movies you immerse yourself into the story on the screen, you are not focused on reality.

In reading The Most Important Conversation Is the One You?re Not Having, disband your present beliefs and judgments until the end of the book. Allow yourself to embrace these new ideas. When you finish reading, choose what is appropriate and work for you. Let go of the rest.